Soap is not a condiment
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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