Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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