she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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