I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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