Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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