i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
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I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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