Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
3 2 1 whiskey
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize