I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize