just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize