I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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