Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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