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I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Randomize
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