Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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