there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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