just come out here and I will go home with you...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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