yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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