omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize