i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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