I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am naked and annoyed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize