i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
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Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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