By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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