Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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