just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize