Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
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the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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