If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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