Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize