i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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