just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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