he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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