i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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