Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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