I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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