Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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