I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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