Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize