I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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