NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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