Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize