so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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