saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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