Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am spending my child support on dildos
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So much rum. So many feels.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize