Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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