piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize