Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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