I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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