he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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