He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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