woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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