He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
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So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
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I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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