Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize